Oh, Edward!
by bellalupus
Summary: On a visit to Phoenix, Edward takes fitting in one step too far.


**A/N**: Ah, my first attempt at humour. Not sure where exactly this idea came to me from, but I thought it was funny :D R&R

* * *

"Oh my God, Edward!" Rosalie's incredulous laughter filled the room, "You did not really do this!"

Alice giggled uncontrollably as she clutched the countertop for support, "You can't be serious!"

Edward shifted uncomfortably, "Is it really that bad?"

"That bad?" Emmett cried breathlessly, "Edward _what_ were you thinking!"

Edward rubbed his arm awkwardly, his face contorted with embarrassment.

"Well Bella and I are going to Phoenix; I just wanted to fit in…" His voice trailed off as a new fit of laughter overtook his siblings.

"Oh my, this is just _too_ good!" Rosalie shrieked as she snapped a picture with her cell phone.

* * *

"Edward, I really appreciate you coming to visit Renee with me, but is all this _really_ necessary?"

Bella gestured to the many layers of clothes that Edward was currently drowning in as they waited on the patio for her mother.

"You can never be too careful." Edward mumbled.

"Edward c'mon… your wearing a ski mask. Besides look," Bella gestured to the stormy, grey sky above them, "it's cloudy!"

"Well I'm sorry for being cautious." He replied offhandedly.

Bella groaned, "Please Edward, take off this ridiculous outfit. Renee is going to think you're some kind of criminal, besides people are starting to stare."

It was true; pedestrians passing the outdoor patio of the small neighborhood bistro were reacting with looks of concern, or laughing at the oddly dressed man arguing with his girlfriend.

"I refuse to give in to peer pressure." Edward stated matter-o-factly.

"You're lucky you're charming." She grumbled.

Bella sighed and buried her head in her hands. What was the point of having an exceedingly gorgeous boyfriend if you couldn't show him off?

"Renee's here," Edward said, and sure enough an over-excited woman had begun to rush towards their table.

"Bella darling, I'm so glad you're here! How was your flight? Oh I missed you!" Renee gushed, as she pulled Bella into a tight embrace.

"Hi mom," Bella said with a smile as Renee released her from their bear hug.

"Hello Renee." Edward said brightly from behind his mask.

"Oh!" Renee gasped, spinning around to face the masked man, "Who are you and how do you know my name? Bella honey, hide your purse."

"Relax mom, its only Edward."

"Oops, sorry Edward… but why on earth are you dressed like that? Were in Phoenix, not the North Pole! It must be at least a hundred degrees out here; you must be absolutely dying in this heat!" Renee exclaimed as she took a seat next to her daughter.

"Yes Edward, why _are_ you dressed like that?" Bella smirked, maybe now he would finally take off that ridiculous outfit.

"I'm highly allergic to the sun." Edward replied.

"Oh that's too bad," Renee sighed, "But the suns not out right now, I think it would be okay to take everything off- or if you would like to I'll ask the waiter for a table inside."

Edward shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Erm, you know I'd rather keep everything on, better to be safe than sorry."

"Oh but darling, you must be dying of heat stroke by now. The suns not coming out any time soon, you'll be fine." Renee countered.

Bella giggled at Edward's uneasiness, "C'mon Edward, do it for me. Please?"

She turned to him with her best pleading expression- puppy dog eyes and all.

Edward sighed in defeat, "Fine."

Reluctantly he began to peel off his many layers. Hat, sunglasses, ski mask, scarf, sweatshirt, gloves, he continued to strip away articles of clothing until he stood in a t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

"Oh Edward!" Bella exclaimed, desperately trying to fight back her laughter.

"Well, that's certainly a _different_ look for you Edward…" Renee said before bursting out into an obnoxiously loud laughing fit.

Edward sunk down into his chair in humiliation, and buried his face in his arms.

"I knew I shouldn't have tried that spray tan." He grimaced.


End file.
